Competitions

Over two weeks since my last entry! May is my busiest work month of the year so I'm really not too surprised that I didn't get to post much during the month. It also just happened that the BNZ Literary Award competition's deadline is today and I have been working on entries for that which can be viewed here

https://www.facebook.com/BNZBank/app_189973057820785?app_data=page%7Cread-short-stories%7Csearch%7Chaphazard+serendipity.
 I got all settled in to write an entry last night but as I was flicking around the internet I discovered there was another national flash fiction competition I could enter so I thought I would give it a crack. Great idea, except the deadline was 31/5 at midnight and the time was already 9pm so it was a total rush job - real flash fiction, written in a flash! I have entered the story - maximum 300 words and as usual I used every one - but I am now afraid to go back and read it as I sent it away with 38 minutes to spare and my judgement is never at it's best at that time of night, I have a feeling I will hate the story if I re read it so I'm not going there right now. Once the judging is over I can share it with you and we can all have a cringe about my '2 hour flash fiction' but I did the best I could under the circumstances and I have pushed send so there is nothing I can do to change it now. At least the title will get noticed though as it was inspired by the recent news story about the baby found in the sewer in China so I called the story 'How Do You Fit A Baby Down The Toilet?' which sounds really crass but it does fit the story which you will have to take my word on until I can post it on here.

So, with another work related writing project and four competition entries completed this month, 3 in the last 2 weeks I haven't had a chance to do any creative writing exercises but I plan on setting aside regular time each week to continue with them which should be doable now that work has settled down again. Also those damn addictive cooking programmes are all finishing this week freeing up my evenings - I swear I won't start watching long winded competition TV again although I think I promised that last year and I was weak, succumbing to their guilty pleasures yet again. 

Anyway, the competition rush has finished although there is a regional competition I want to get an entry ready for but the deadline isn't until the end of September so I will be using the long winter nights to get something half decent written. I have to be very careful with this new entry - it has to be longer - not flash fiction but regular short story length which I haven't written for years and the entries cost money so I can't just enter loads willy-nilly as I did for the BNZ competition. I have to work on one story and make it the best I can, I have never liked putting all my eggs in one basket but I will have to on this occasion.

I would like to enter as many competitions as I can this year - I am not expecting to win any of them but I like the challenge of the deadline, as a well practised procrastinator I need a deadline. I normally play to win with everything I do (whether it appears that way or not) but I can't think that way with the writing competitions as fiction, especially, is way too subjective. It all depends on the judge and who knows what they are looking for. It is actually very liberating for me to enter a competition and then forget about it rather than waiting for the outcome and being crushed if I don't win (that damn competitive nature again). I learnt a long time ago that you just can't please everyone so I am working on pleasing myself. I can now focus on the exercises and the next entry which will be a long time in the making, I will let you know how it goes.








 
 

Creative Writing 2

The next creative writing exercise is a simple, sraightforward account of a physical accident you have had. This is tricky for me as I was a very clumsy child and have plenty of accidents to choose from so I took a little time deciding on which one to write about. I chose this one mostly because I have strong memories of both the incident and the after effects.


When I was young our house was positioned on a sloping section which led to a small wooded area where I sometimes played. The day of the accident I was on my own, playing in the shrubby edges of the woods when I caught sight of movement from the corner of my eye, I wasn't sure what it was so I listened carefully to gauge it's postion. I heard noises, briefly saw what I assumed was a rabbit and sprinted after it.

Not long after I lost sight of the rabbit, stopped running and kept quiet trying to pick up the trail again but all I heard was my own harsh breathing so I sat down for a rest, I had given up on finding the rabbit. That's when I noticed a small hole in the ground nearby, most likely a rabbit hole but that didn't interested me however something shiny was embedded in the wall of the hole and that did interest me. The accident happened when I leaned forward to excavate the shiny thing from the earth  - a stick in the eye, it was half buried, poking out from the hole at an angle unnoticed as I was blinded by the potential treasure. When the stick stabbed me in the eye I rebounded and fell onto my backside with two thoughts running through my head - 1, my eye really, really, hurt and I needed to get to mum so she could fix me up because mums are good at that and 2, the unknown treasure was very attainable. Knowing I would never find the hole again this was my only chance to collect it so with one hand over my bad eye and the other frantically digging out the tresure with the offending stick I only took a couple of minutes to prise it free, take a quick peek and run home.

I landed myself in A&E for that little adventure, eye drops which stung badly for a couple of weeks and an eye patch which wasn't even cool - a thick white bandage over the eye for what seemed like the whole term but wasn't.

The upside was the treasure I found. When I got home from the hospital I could finally clean it up and examine it (with one eye). I was rewarded with a small decorative glass with sloping sides, a rose coloured strip around the base, a picture of a dog (an Alsatian I think) painted in black, white and grey on the body of the glass and a gold rim. I kept that little treasure for years on my bedroom shelf and it gave me pleasure far longer than the effects of the eye injury gave me bother so I guess I made on the deal.


This is the heavily edited version, I was surprised how much I remembered about this incident and I had to cut out a lot of irrelevant memories, probably should have cut more but couldn't quite manage to. Simple and straightforward is always hard for me as anyone who knows me can verify so I think I did an ok self editing job on this exercise.

This is a factual recount rather than creative writing but I can see the point of writing it - we all have a massive number of experiences, large and small, to draw on for inspiration. I don't know how inspiring this particular episode from my childhood is but this is the first memory I have about the thrill of finding treasure and that thrill is a wondrous thing, far better than a poke in the eye that's for sure.  

Creative Writing Exercise 1

I don't do anthing in a hurry, I call it research, covering my bases, exploring options but really we all know it is nothing more than procrastination. I don't think I am alone in this but I know I can be incredibly talented at putting things off so although I decided way back in October 2012 that 2013 would be my year to indulge in two activities that I used to enjoy before babies came along it has taken me nearly half a year to make a real start.

Now that the babies are old enough to amuse themselves for good chunks of time I thought this freed me up to regain some of my skills that have fallen foul of the intense child reaering of the last decade. I was very wrong, the big babies may not need me 24/7 but caring for them, the home, the husband, pets, garden and a part time job still suck the time and energy away from what I really want to get on with which is swimming and writing. I have made a dreadful start on both, so far this year I have managed a 15 minute swim and sauna and am (almost) happy with an entry for an upcoming short story competition which doesn't sound too bad until you know that the competition is for 150 words of creative fiction - a short short story which is a very new concept for me and not as easy as it sounds but I will have something to submit and that was the whole idea. Prizes and acclaim are far from my mind, for me entering will be quite an achievement and I hope to enter another couple of competitions this year to keep the ball rolling. Without a deadline or goal in mind (my self imposed deadlines end up being very flexible) I find I keep putting the writing to one side in favour of baking a cake, putting the laundry away and staring for ridiculous amounts of time at the chickens scratching around - at least they are being productive.

So, to get to the point (you can see why 150 words was a challenge for me) I took some creative writing books out of the library, looked up some exercises and decided to just get on with it. To make me feel that I was producing something for a (tiny) audience my next decision was to post them on my blog which is very brave for me - sharing fiction on any level makes me anxious. My next thought was maybe some other people are feeling the same way and would like to join in either publicly or privately, it would be nice if they did, kind of like a writing buddy but even if no one does I have finally made a commitment and I will plunge ahead.

So, before I start with the first exercise (short ones to start) I hope the various authors I have borrowed these tasks from - the first one is from Louise Doughty's 'A Novel In A Year' (which is not on my agenda but the exercises are in manageable chunks so I will do  a few before moving on to another set) are ok with me using the exercises in a public forum, I guess they will let me know if they ever find out what I am doing and don't like it. You can check out Louise on http://www.louisedoughty.com

The following is a baby step but at least I have made a start.

Exercise 1 - finish the sentence 'The day after my eighth birthday my father told me ......'

The day after my eighth birthday my father told me to clean up the blood, there was a lot of it and it was starting to turn to jelly. Gathering a cloth I began to mop up the scarlet puddles, the dry cloth smeared the blood around but didn't remove it so I wet the cloth with the hose.

'Don't bother with the cloth, that won't do the job, you need the hose', he said and showed me how to turn the nozzle so the water came out in a single stream, hard and fast, perfect for sluicing the blood from the little pits in the lino. The force of the water turned the blood into pink froth which slipped down over the wash house step leaving the bubbles to pop on the grass.

I am happy with that, I had originally written more which explained the blood but as I was in two minds myself as to where it came from so I deleted it. If I am not convinced nobody else will be either. The requirement was only one sentence anyway so I will leave it there. I like it though so who knows, I might pick it up again one day and find out why there was blood all over the wash house floor.

Alice in Wonderland

I haven't posted anything for a while, I have had plenty of distractions as well as the usual family and work commitments to keep me busy. One of the little side issues I looked at this week was a request from a friend planning a Rally of Hope event when our PM visits the area at the end of the month. She proposed an interesting exercise and while it didn't take a lot of time it did provide food for thought.

I was asked to list various Members of Parliament and then match them with a character from Alice and Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, a fun task which resulted in me choosing the Cheshire Cat for our PM, John Key - the character description said the cat spoke in riddles, was always grinning and could disappear at will - our PM is a natural at all three so I hope he appreciates the consideration behind the bestowing of this character upon him.

My daughter watched the Tim Burton film version of  'Alice in Wonderland' many times over recently so I was relatively familiar with the characters. It is one of those movies which captivates her and she watches over and over again until we can all recite the dialogue as well as the actors. She also has a picture book about the movie out from the library and as we returned home from checking the book out I noticed our local theatre group are currently performing 'The White Rabbit'. All these Alice references were beginning to add up and starting to feel a little eerie. Not least because I had recently begun a writing project with the working title 'Down The Rabbit Hole' before all these other Alice themed incidents occurred - my brain is starting feel like I have taken one of the funny pills in the story.

Of course it isn't just the tale of Alice and her adventures which has come to the fore again in recent years - many stories from our childhoods are making a modern comeback although some are so reworked as to be merely based on the originals rather than faithful retellings. Rapunzel, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel and Jack and the Beanstalk (I am sure there are more but this isn't a research project) in addition to Alice have all been given the Hollywood treatment in the last few years which left me wondering - have the moguls run out of new ideas? Are they playing it safe with a well known story? Trying to entice the parents by evoking memories of simpler times or it is because, as people of a certain age will tell you - classics improve with maturity?

I can't entirely blame this quick Alice detour for my lack of blog entries though as I have also got a larger writing project on the go - working title 'The Happiness Dial' which has stalled until I get some decent uninterrupted quiet time (ie indefinitely!). I have also been distracted by several ideas popping around in my brain all demanding I start work on them - knitting, sewing, baking, reading and spending time with loved ones but I am finding it impossible to settle on one and make some headway. Until I can cross something off my to do list I will feel jittery and unproductive so I am making a concerted effort to charge forward with 'Down the Rabbit Hole' tonight and hopefully that will at least get the whole Wonderland thing out of my head and I can move on - visions of that damn cat are starting to drive me mad!.

The Power of Facebook

I am a haphazard Facebook user, more a voyeur really - I like to see what everyone else is up to but rarely post any comments as I can't think of anything going on that would interest my Facebook friends. This has changed recently, I have upped my Facebook visits from one or two a week to a daily check and have gone on a rampage of liking, sharing and even commenting! My online activity has increased by umpteen per cent  (I am good with many things, figures however are not one of them) and I am enjoying my renewed enthusiasm for taking a more active role in adding to the news feed here and there.

Several interesting and important things are happening on a local, regional, national and global level that I feel strongly about and this is pushing my desire to be more involved. Although I am still on the periphery of the action it feels like the right time to express more of my views about the events currently unfolding.

I have noticed changes to the content being shared by my FB friends - less of the kids photos and minor day to day commentary, more political statements and concerns for the future. I like this change and am proud to have friends who aren't afraid to speak up for what they believe is right and show their concern for what is happening in world. Of course most of us have similar values and therefore agree, on the whole, with each other which is no great surprise because as well as being FB friends we are actually real life friends too and friends are usually on the same wavelengths when it comes to the really important stuff. This results in many likes and the sharing of links to pass on information and play our part in the growing worldwide awareness of issues that need addressing to ensure the future is bright for the generations to follow.

I feel heartened by these largely middle class and middle aged (sorry guys, sad but true) rumblings and long may it continue. However while sifting through the many posts on FB today - a fairly typical day of environmental, political and thought provoking posts amongst the TGIF comments and I was pleased to see  plenty of likes  and shared links spreading the word for common sense and righteousness.

My favourite share today was Expanded Consciousness's link to a feel good environmental article shared by a friend (thanks Chris, I have a pet peeve of municipal inedible plantings and am very reassured to know I'm not the only one as that kind of weirdness can get lonely)  and I noticed it had over 7,000 likes! Excellent, I thought and then as I continued down I found a link that initially amused me (briefly) and then made me despair, My Kitchen Rules.

Now, don't misunderstand me here, I am a big fan of MKR, it used to be my guilty televisual pleasure until I couldn't be bothered feeling guilty any more and now I organise the family routine to accommodate yet another obsession and have got 2 thirds of the offspring on board so we can heckle the contestants together, great family fun, but it is just a TV cooking competition. For those of you not familiar with this Aussie reality cooking show there is a pair of female contestants who are very outspoken and are making themselves quite unpopular in some circles. This link is a call to have them be the next team eliminated from the show - all innocent fun as this will have absolutely no bearing on the outcome of the show as the audience doesn't get to choose who goes home. Nothing to get riled about you might think but this is the kicker - when I last checked a few minutes ago this link had over 62,000 likes!! How is it that this link which won't have any effect on the outcome of the competition or in fact anything at all receives so much attention when important, interesting links that could change the world get a handful of views, likes and shares??

I puzzled over this and will continue to do so until I can get my head around it but so far I can think of a few reasons why this may have happened so here's a little multiple choice question for you.

Did the 'get rid of Sophia and Ashlee off MKR' campaign get over 62,000 likes (and counting)because people -

A, find it easier to contribute to the FB community by clicking a vaguely amusing 2 line post than reading a whole article?

B, want to be entertained and not be reminded about challenging issues, especially on a Friday?

C,  will click 'like' if they think it will actually achieve something (not that it will in this case) rather than supporting a 'big issue' that feels impossible for ordinary people to influence

D, don't want to feel left out when such a large number of people have liked the link already?

D, everyone just really hates those 2 Asian chicks.

Whatever the reason it really bummed me out but was an amazing illustration of the power of FB, just think what we could achieve if the right people could harness the same power and influence as MKR and use it for the good of the planet?? Some would argue that getting rid of Sophia and Ashlee off MKR is for the good of the planet and they wouldn't be too far wrong - they are incredibly irritating girls but make for great TV.

Would You Eat Your Cat?

I recently read this book by Jeremy Strangroom which appears to be an odd choice for a devoted cat worshipper such as myself but becomes a little less mystifying when you know the sub title -Key ethical conundrums, and what they tell you about yourself.

This is not a book review although I do recommend it if you fancy a few mind benders before bedtime - the questions posed in this book can really mess with your head if you think about them hard enough. What I learnt about myself is that I am not the outright utilitarian I had always considered myself to be and as I get older some questions become a fuzzy grey colour whilst others stand out in stark and uncompromising black and white. This would be easy to deal with if there was a formula I was following but I seem to have different answers for very similar questions and many of them just don't have a yes/no answer. I found many of the questions very satisfying food for thought despite not finding any easy solutions to the problems presented.

The most disquieting section for me was Crime and Punishment where at first glance the questions appear very straight forward, even silly, such as 'Should we punish the innocent?' and 'Can worse ever be judged morally better?' but as I was encouraged to examine the various situations more deeply I found myself getting sucked into a way of thinking that was not normal for me and I lost myself in the twists and turns of ethics for the modern world which I smugly decided was stretching my intellect and making me a more informed person. It wasn't until I had finished the book that I realised there were, of course, alternatives to my clever clogs theory and it was entirely possible I was either very easily lead and with enough effort I could be persuaded to believe anything with a plausible sounding argument behind it or I was once again guilty of one of my persistent failings - overthinking everything. I still haven't made up my mind on most of the questions but I certainly know where I stand on 'Would you eat your cat'?

At first glance I assumed (I know I shouldn't but it was kind of hard not to) this was a eat your cat or starve to death scenario because, quite honestly I couldn't imagine any other reason for eating your cat although I doubt a common moggy would keep starvation at bay for long. The premise however turned out to be much odder than that and one I couldn't envision anyone I know considering. In this question a woman loved her cat unconditionally and was completely devoted to him, the relationship sounded almost like a lover to me but I guess if the cat was your lover the question 'Would you eat your cat?' would be a whole lot easier to answer. The woman had made a decision some time before that when the cat died she would eat him so that he would be a part of her forever (I told you it was weird). The answer to this question for me was a no brainer - no, I would not eat my cat under these circumstances, but that is too easy because the question really been asked was - do you approve of the woman eating her cat in these circumstances?

I think the knee jerk reaction for most people would be 'of course she shouldn't eat her cat - she is one sick kitty to even think about it' and I wholeheartedly agree but really the ethical dilemma is this - is this woman morally wrong to eat her cat so they can be joined as one forever and while I still hold onto the idea that we need some mental health professionals in this story I can't actually see any moral issues with the poor grief stricken woman with no friends eating her faithful companion so they may live together as one entity. It is certainly eccentric but I can't be convinced it is fundamentally immoral. Those of us who eat meat cannot really consider the eating of an animal as wrong without declaring our own actions morally corrupt. I concede most of us don't usually bring pets into the family with the intention of eating them but is it really any different to a farmer eating animals he has raised from birth for the table?

This lead my tired brain down another path which as a life long meat eater I am morally obliged to wander. When is it not ok to eat an animal? If I could cope with someone eating their pet where would I draw the line? Interesting question and while I am still exploring the answer I think the line in the sand is a long way off for me as the only circumstances I can think of that would prohibit me from eating an animal is the state of the animals population and future security. I would not, for instance, eat a tiger or a tuatara but if I was hungry enough any animal that isn't endangered is up for grabs providing they have been humanely dispatched. Having said that I know I have been guilty of eating meat that has not been slaughtered to the humane standards we have in this country but for my host country the method used to slaughter the beast was normal practice and they were very proud to offer the animal to us, their guests. In that situation I have already broken one of my own rules - does this make me flexible and culturally adaptable or do I have flimsy and brittle morals?

Our western culture is very narrow minded in the food resources it utilises compared with many other countries around the world and we have the luxury of turning our noses up at eating a dog or rat or guinea pig finding the notion unpalatable either due to the 'yuk factor' or the 'cute factor' depending on the species. Those Kiwis who have travelled in countries dominated by non western cultures are likely to respect the host's culture and tradition but only try the unfamiliar as a novelty rather than a viable long term menu option. How many travellers return from South America and set up a backyard guinea pig farm because they miss roast cavy - not a lot, although it is very easy to implement and could save money to help pay for the next overseas adventure.

All of this round about thinking has really led me to one conclusion which I have known all along so I could have saved myself an awful lot of bother - I will eat (almost) anything.

The Caspule Wardrobe

I have a lot of kind and generous friends and family and they give me clothes, lots and lots of clothes which I am very grateful for. Some of these people are mere acquaintances and in some instances the connection between the kind hearted donor and me is very tenuous indeed. I never say no though - I am a junk whore and will accept almost any rejected item. I like to think of this as recycling but it is really just my inner treasure hunter looking for it's next fix.

Usually I really enjoy being the local drop off for the unwanted and past it - I love the sorting and finding but there comes a time when these new additions must be put somewhere. My catch all 'somewhere' is a pile of shopping bags plonked either in my bedroom on in the spare shower
(don't say anything, I know that's a little strange but strange is normal in our house and I bet the same goes for your place too). At some point the clothes migrate into my drawers and wardrobe and get used, all good so far.

This system came to a crashing halt recently with the delivery of a much appreciated small bag of sartorial goodies. As there were only a few items I decided to skip the store and wait step and put them straight into service whereupon I discovered a catastrophe - they wouldn't fit! The problem would not be solved with just a quick tidy and refold, I needed a hard core clothes cull - all you hoarders out there will know how that freaked me out. Sorting, categorising, folding, selecting and placing are all comforting activities, getting rid of stuff - any kind of stuff is not. Getting rid is incredibly satisfying after the event and you see rediscovered corners that can now be covered in new junk but the process itself is gruelling. You know that as soon as an item has left the property and is forever irretrievable the event, occasion or use it was specifically made for will become apparent and you no longer have it - this situation is a major stress inducer to be avoided at all costs.

So what to do about drawers breaking under the strain, wardrobes doors jammed open, hooking clothes hangers onto even more hangers and only being able to reach 3 outfits without pulling the whole house of clothes down on myself? There comes a point when rearranging and putting a pile of clean clothes into the wash to create more space won't work anymore so the teeth gritting moment had arrived - I had to face the fact I had too much stuff and some of it had to go.

I am no stranger to the clothes cull, I have done a great many of them and they all end up with the same result - less stuff to hand but not necessarily in an efficient way so I decided on a new approach. The capsule wardrobe, the small collection of clothes that always appears in the womens magazines around holiday time that will take you from a glittering dinner at the captains table to an impromptu tryst in the scented gardens with the porter (I have yet to find any outfit that has directly led to an impromptu tryst in any circumstances but I am aiming to include it my version of the capsule wardrobe). The idea behind the capsule wardrobe is everything must go with a least 3 other garments so you can pretty much look ok by choosing items at random which is my preferred method if getting dressed before 10am when my brain actually begins to function. The capsule wardrobe should also be small as it is designed to fit into expensive dainty luggage designed for 'the country retreat' or the 'winter sun break' and here is where I had the advantage over the holiday packers - I am very unlikely to be attending either destination and I can therefore add a few extras without straining my not so dainty clothing receptacles.

With the capsule wardrobe principles understood I set about making it so. Once all my clothing was laid out around the bedroom I really saw the scale of the issue for the first time and this lead to a panic attack - if I kept only a capsule wardrobe that would mean getting rid of so many items I would probably have to be hospitalised with the trauma and separation anxiety so did I need to abandon my brilliant idea in favour of something a little more obsession friendly? I really didn't want to give up on my new wardrobe makeover so with a little creative thinking my mentally healthy self came to a compromise with my mentally a-little-skewiff self and it was of course a complete epiphany. just because I had a capsule wardrobe didn't mean I had to get rid of the rest of my clothes; I just had to remove them from the bedroom! Viola, problem solved. This fantastic idea made the selection process of the capsule wardrobe so easy and not at all stressful because I knew this seasons rejects were just going away temporarily and could be retrieved at any time.

So anything that didn't fit and couldn't be a part of at least 3 outfits has been spirited away and I can now shut all doors and drawers and actually see all available options without getting the torch to see what has fallen down the back of the dresser. The whole process left me feeling empowered and floaty instead of the usual stressed self doubt, in fact I felt so good I even ironed some cotton and linen items (a rare occurrence) and mended 2 items (a never happened before occurrence).

So despite the crys of  'cheater'  from the back row (who listens to ther kids anyway?) I feel the capsule wardrobe idea was a complete success. No stress, maximum efficiency, virtous feelings and a very workable capsule wardrobe in my room while the rest of my clothes have a little r&r  - a capsule wardrobe break if you will. Of course knowing they are stashed in the kids playroom and can be picked through at a moments notice settles my often over taxed brain and the kids don't need all that space anyway - I just had a big clear out of their stuff.